1 - life PHASES
1 - 18 Months
Newborn care basics include:
Physical Needs: Supporting the baby’s neck, Changing diapers, Bathing, Dressing, Swaddling, Feeding and burping, Cleaning the umbilical cord, Caring for a healing circumcision, Using a bulb syringe to clear the baby’s nasal passages, Taking a newborn’s temperature, Soothing the baby.
I like to be held, care for, fed, cleaned. I like kisses all the time. I normally like voicing my opinion when I am hungry, wet, sleepy or sick.
Be a truth-seeker. Learn something new every day. Do not settle for less – Roxana Jones
Understand by them being born that their lives has a destiny and their goal in live is to grow spiritually. Makes effort to grow spiritually on a daily basis. Has intense desire to grow spiritually.
How do I know that I am a seeker?
Asks a lot of questions. Have integrity rather than lie, deceive or misrepresent ideas. Focus on spiritual rather than material growth. Dissolution of mind, body and intellect vs. enhancing. Internal journey vs external. Develop qualities such as love, hope and faith vs. attachment, pride and anger. God is the doer vs. I am the doer. Uses logic and reason vs. rationality. You want to know yourself, knowing the truth liberates you, wholehearted sincerity, not offended, impartial, trust the existence of God, patience (Rome wasn’t build in a day) and pure innocence.
Tasting Everything in their mouths:
Trust vs Mistrust. Most fundamental stage in life.
The child is utterly dependent upon adults for everything in their life that they need to survive including food, love, warmth, safety, and nurturing. If care is not provided they cannot trust adults. If you fail to develop trust in results in fear and the world is against them in short danger may be present.
2 - life PHASES
19 Months - 3 Years
Todler care basics include:
Emotional security in the sense of eye contact, positive emotions by parents and cuddling. It is our human nature to want to be like by others either through one of the four basic social needs: affirmation, achievement, intimacy and power. If these dependency needs are met in the child it increases their chances of depression, sadness, loneliness, fear of rejection, they feel they belong and accepted.
Human development normally takes a sequential growth pattern namely: physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, self-esteem and self-actualization. Pretty much based on Maslow’s theory.
Nurturance, love, shelter, protection, security, food, warmth, emotion, affection and dependency in month child relationships are very important for the child’s development.
I like to climb up on stuff, point at things, saying no is my powertrip, always searching for Peekaboo and cling to my mommy. I normally like voicing my opinion by throwing tantrums to get my way.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. EXPLORE, DREAM & DISCOVER – Mark Twain
Discovery is the act of detecting something new, or something previously unrecognized as meaningful. Questioning is a major form of human thought and interpersonal communication, and plays a key role in discovery – Wikipedia
Scientific discoveries has played a major role in the development of the 21st century. We all when we were younger enjoyed hunting for the illusive treasures in the back garden.
Starting to see that I matter. I can make a difference. I can have other opinions, which might not always be right. Starting to have some sort of discipline. You start to solve problems through experimentation.
Fiddle with Everything:
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Move everything up out of reach height.
“If I want it, it’s mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
If it’s mine it will never belong to anyone else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks like mine, it’s mine.”
—Burton L. White in his Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child
This age is referred many times as the terrible two’s because they throw tantrums. They get a sense of personal control, personal actions and decisions while helping them get a sense of autonomy which lead to them having a will. Potty training leads to a feeling of control ans a sense of independence. It helps them feel secure and confident vs. inadequacy and self-doubt.
3 - life PHASES
4 - 5 Years
Care basics include:
To interact with their peers through play and tasks. Routines are essential to make them feel safe, eg. regular bedtimes to get enough sleep. Provide a bouquet of food to learn what they like or not. Also to ensure they get enough food and don’t wake you up at 3am for a bottle. Help them to deal with their emotions by listening and not necessarily responding as you would toward another adult but towards your mine me. Get down to their level and interact with them, be responsive to their interactions it helps build relationship and confidence in your child. My daughters repetitive calling to me reminds me of that. Dad, dad, dad, dad, etc. Whining expresses a non verbal request for help or love. Be willing to be the teacher when they ask you all kinds of question. Make sure they get in some sorts of sport, eg. playball etc. to help develop their motor skills. Going to school help with development, make sure you send them to a good school not just a daddy day care so to speak.
I love to plan in the sand, paint, sleep, play house and ball. My favorite times is watching Frozen and other movies, snugging in bed with mom and dad reading great stories.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? – Albert Eistein
It could be defined as a systematic investigation into and study of materials and sources in order to establish facts and reach new conclusions – Google
A research “method” involves a specific procedure obtaining knowledge on a certain area of reality.
Spiritual growth involves in-dept study as to the process of growth from start to finish. Pretty much what we are doing here. A good question is; name 5 scriptures that shows your how to obtain eternal life / salvation.
I love reading my fairy tale books:
Initiative vs. Guilt.
Having a sense of purpose is life-changing, exploring different things. When you have purpose it drives you to assert control over your surroundings. Kids who overstep their bounds experience rejection resulting in a sense of guilt, self-doubt and lack of initiative.
4 - life PHASES
6 - 13 Years
I’m the cool cat:
I need to feel confident about myself. The way I look, what sport I play and how people look at me.
I am looking for friend that like and accept me. I would like to do good at school and get recognition for it. I want to feel beautiful and not to be a loser.
Knowledge is power, community is strength and positive attitude is everything – Lance Armstrong.
Being accepted and included makes people feel their live matters and that people love them. Love others the way you want to be loved, unconditional love goes a long way.
Having like-minded people that really care about each other; is really powerful. There is a powerful saying that resonates with us : Doing life together.
Look for a community with the following characteristics: inclusive, diverse, authentic, mutuality, sympathy, mercy, humility, courtesy, confidentiality and frequency.
I am looking for recognition and to be accepted:
Industry vs. Inferiority.
The question that comes to mind for your pre-teen is; “Am I capable?”
Competence can be defined as a belief / pride in their abilities and accomplishments. There is two sides of the story in that on the positive side children are encouraged by parents, peers, teachers and also commended for what they do. The other side is they are not and they start to doubt their abilities to be successful which makes them insecure; and down the spiral they go of negative reinforcing. Make sure they are not being bullied and have a plan of action to counter that, it is one of the main causes of suicide.
It is very important for you as a parent to love unconditionally, be the coach, be encouraging, make plans with your children, talk through situations at school and with their friends. Thus keeping your finger on the pulse to gauge what sort of trend your child is personifying and to act accordingly to give direction.
In the end they need a plan and need to learn to follow through with it.
5 - life PHASES
14 - 21 Years
Family time, grub, activity, rest, relaxation, choices, responsibility, helpful attention and acknowledging / respecting my choices.
I am popular, liked with great friends and family. My future is secure and exiting. I have a great girlfriend and part of a great group of friends.
That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God – Albert Einstein
You have to have conviction, or you can’t live. And then you have to do something about your conviction, or you cant’ stand to live with yourself!
Conviction is derived from truth and the effect of belief of it has on our lives.
What belief are you willing to die for? It really boils down to that! Or do you live with guilt? Conviction leads to change or repentance in a spiritual sense overcoming your fear of change. If you don’t overcome you feeling of fear you will have to live with the feeling of guilt and condemnation.
Who am I again?
Identity vs. Confusion.
Exploring to find yourself is not and easy task that will lead to independence and control. The other emotional conundrum is remaining unsure of your beliefs and desires which makes your feel insecure and not sure of yourself and your future.
What shapes your identity / behavior?
My beliefs, likes and dislikes, sporty or not, values, heroes and that girl / boy I want to date. It is like saying where do you see yourself in 10 years from now?
Who am I? Why am I? Who do I want to be? My personality is formed by my interactions with other people, good or bad. Who you are or want to be determine your actions and focus.
6 - life PHASES
22 - 39 Years
Developmental needs activities
The struggle between the need to stand out, and the need to belong. I need heightened levels of affiliation, intimacy and connection. Long term accountability association with adults and kids. Physical, competence, achievement, self definition, creative expression, positive social interaction, structure and clear limits and meaningful participation.
I am my own person who can do what I want, when I want it and how. I wear designer clothes, shoes, etc. I feel safe and cared for in my relationships.
What do you understand about the meaning of life? Do you have a sense of destiny, peace and purpose? What do you believe is your destiny? Will we only become worm-food or is there something like life after death. Those numerous people who had the after death experience of being in heaven or hell is that only a fable?
What would you say is your core values? Does your actions align with your belief system? Do you have empirical proof of your facts? We will explore this in further posts.
Are we there yet?
Intimacy vs. Isolation.
We all want to love and be loved.
To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything – T Tolis.
Like they say love makes the world goes round; or is that money or the love of money?
Developing relationships, develops into love. Those relationships need to be close, committed, enduring and secure.
Your personal identity enables your to connect with like-minded people . If you fail at this you might suffer emotional isolation, depression and loneliness.
7 - life PHASES
40 - 65 Years
I think Maslow come into play here. From top to bottom would be: self-actualisation, esteem, love/belonging, safety and physiological.
With the job markets and economies going up and down today, having a job nowadays is key to a stable lifestyle. While you think that is a given, have a look at the unemployment rate in different countries. Those dreams you were dreaming when you were younger did they become true? Is life now how you pictured it?
I live in a 4 bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood close to work and school. Both my wife and I have good safe jobs. We have both a boy and a girl. We go to the coast for our yearly holidays to our beach house. Life could not be better. Sounds like a movie!!!
Needy, constant care, can’t solve own problems, poops in their pants still a lot, need constant input, purely surviving, still conforming to the world in some areas, friends think they are weird, learning new things and lifestyle.
When can I buy that boat?
Generativity vs. Stagnation.
Is there growth in your career and family?
Growing children, growing in your life partner relationship, being proud of your accomplishments, having virtue in your life, contributing in your home and family and focusing on your career and family. These are but a few accomplishments that mark this stage of your life.
Do you feel that you have success in your life? Are you happy? Are you living a fulfilled life?
8 - life PHASES
66 Plus Years
Aged care basics include:
Physical Needs: Personal care, housework, social activities, meals, transport, exercise, mobility aids, gardening & counseling.
This has been an awesome ride and adventure. Yes it had it’s tough times but I came our a better person. I enjoy travelling the world on my kid’s inheritance. Physically I am still able to look after myself and my wife. I really enjoy the grand kids and my family.
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream…” – CS Lewis
Belongingness is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, a religion, or somthing else, people tend to have an ‘inherent’ desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves – Wikipedia
You are part of a awesome spiritual group where you have poured out your life in people who you can see appreciate your effort and care.
Integrity vs. Despair.
People tend to reflect on their life and the meaning of it. Were you happy, lived a fulfilled life and the regrets you did or not do.
How you feel about your live can have one of two outcomes. Bitterness and Despair or Proud and a sense of integrity.
You want to leave this earth with a sense of satisfaction that you have fulfilled your destiny.
Become Part of the family